Improve Your Personal Effectiveness by Finding Balance

To go past the mark is as wrong as to fall short.

-Confucius

Could you believe that the ideal person is never the best at anything? Our heads are so full of delusions about wealth and power that we run ourselves ragged trying to out do each other. We spin our wheels until we burn ourselves out and are left hopeless and exhausted.

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There is great pressure to attain the highest level of achievement. We want to be the richest, most beautiful, and most well-liked because these virtues are glorified. But by indulging our vanity we do ourselves more harm than good. The only way to achieve sustainable happiness is to practice the Golden Mean.

The idea of the Golden Mean has existed for thousands of years. It is at the core of both Eastern and Western philosophy and is central to the teachings of Aristotle and Confucius. The idea is simple.

Every quality has extremes at both ends. The Golden Mean is the natural balance between these extremes. At this harmonious point goodness and beauty are achieved.

Socrates used the example of extreme devotion to athletics versus extreme devotion to music to illustrate this idea. The athlete becomes overly aggressive and ferocious, while the musician becomes overly soft and effeminate. The ideal is someone who practices both athletics and music in moderation and acquires a harmonious mixture of both qualities.

Consider an example from modern times that I’m sure everyone has observed. The first person is extremely career driven. Each day he focuses on advancing himself. He spends long hours at the office, competes mercilessly with his coworkers, and flatters his superiors. As a result he has almost no personal life. The second person’s only pursuit is leisure. He likes to waste time with his friends watching television and playing video games.

Which of these persons is superior? Many people would argue for the hard worker. But at second glance his life is rather cold. His obsession with success has alienated his coworkers and left him without a family. He may become rich, but how will he enjoy it? The second man is no better. He has wasted his life in laziness. He has refused to develop himself and exists as a parasitic leech. Both men are worthy of pity.

I think we’d all agree the ideal would be somewhere in between these two people. So how do we find the elusive Golden Mean? The bad news: it takes years of trial and error get it perfect, but fortunately, we can all improve if we try.

It all starts with setting the right goals. Whenever you make a goal you need to do it with the right intention. Don’t set goals with the intent to dominate other people. This type of goal setting is ego driven and pulls you away from the mean. Instead, try to start with a goal that is in between total selfishness and total selflessness. If you are helping yourself and other people at the same time you can draw motivation from your ego driven side and from the part of you that wants to work for the common good. This type of goal setting is effective because whenever you start to lose motivation in one area you can draw from the other.

The next step to reaching the Golden Mean is knowing your limits. You need to know when that next drink is going to put you over the edge or when one more project is going to stress you out. The idea is to maintain balance at all times. You need to police yourself to avoid extremity. If you know when you are inclined to stray you have a head start on achieving balance.

Another step to achieving the Golden Mean is being aware of your personal needs. Sure we need money and success, but having good relationships with friends and family are just as important. Whenever you find yourself unhappy, take a moment to reflect on the reason. You will likely find that you have drifted over to one extreme and are feeling the consequences.

I know the Golden Mean is hard to live by, but it is the key to finding your inner confidence. Ben Franklin said, “The wise learn from the mistakes of others, fools, scarcely from their own.” Next time you find yourself willing to do anything to be the best of the best, take a moment to reconsider. You may find it is better to be the best “you” you can be.

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7 Self-Reflection Questions for Personal Development Goals

We all have a dream that we want to experience but it can remain hidden without asking ourselves some self-reflection questions. If you are staring at your computer screen thinking to yourself "I don't have a dream or what questions" do not worry. We will go over some great questions in order to help you with your personal development goals.

1. What one personal development goal if achieved tomorrow would give you the greatest feeling of success?

By discovering which goal is most important to us we can better focus our energy and time on what means the most to us. This does not mean we sacrifice the rest of life to get that goal but by being clear on what is most important to us we make better decisions. If you do not find the answer to this question your life goals will not align with your true purpose. Your intentions will not attract the individuals and circumstances needed to make your dreams come true.

2. Are these your goals or someone else's?

Are you living into what you believe is a predetermined future for yourself? If your parents, grandparents and siblings are all lawyers do you feel obligated to be the same even though you dislike the profession?

You are not anyone but who you are and you need to determine your goals based on that fact in order to live your dream life. A life lived through others expectations, is a life that is filled with regret and what could have been.

You do not have to feel selfish for pursuing your own dreams and not the dreams others have for you. You have the right to listen to your heart and follow what you believe is your destiny.

3. Are you passionate about your vision of life?

If you are not waking up excited to live the day then chances are you do not have personal development goals that you are passionate about. People who are passionate about their lives do not want to go to bed at night because they love being awake. They live such fulfilling lives that they cannot wait to wake up and do it again.

If you just can't wait until its bedtime so you can finally end the day you need to identify what you are passionate about. What could you wake up to tomorrow that would make you throw off the covers and practically run out the door? Your real goals will give you energy you never knew existed.

4. Do you understand what success feels like?

Success has a million different definitions and every one of those only applies to the person who is saying it. Success is a feeling we get inside and not our materialistic belongings.

Take time to reflect on what you consider to be past successes. Do not think of the achievement you got in terms of tangible rewards but try to express how you felt in that situation. Was it exhilarating and mind-blowing or were you just slightly happy.
Real goals make you feel like you are on top of the world. Internet marketers always say that their first $100 online is more memorable than their next $100,000. The reason is because that $100 made them feel true success inside. They actually did what they set out to do and it matched what they wanted it to feel like.

Spend the time needed to determine your definition of success. What will life look like, who will you be and what will it take to get there. Most importantly what do you expect to feel when you arrive at your dream destination?

5. What are the daily habits you can create to achieve your goals?

Successful people have successful habits. They didn't just stumble upon those habits but through taking one step each day towards their personal development goals they developed them. By setting up daily routines that push you towards your goals you can create habits.

Most habits are always on autopilot which puts your success on autopilot. If you were in the habit of exercising 30 minutes every day in some form or another I am guessing you would be in fairly good shape. At first you may have to force yourself to go but before long you would wake up and consider doing nothing but go exercise.

This applies to every goal you have. Set up a plan on how to take small daily steps, they turn into habits and before you know it your goal is accomplished.

6. Are you telling yourself: "I can't achieve these goals?

Most people don't believe they can actually achieve the goals they set. They do a good job of writing their goals and planning the steps they need to take but the whole time they tell themselves inside that it won't happen. So it doesn't.

If your belief system is telling you to forget it this isn't going to happen you will need to discover where those beliefs come from. Maybe you don't believe following your passion will pay the bills or that you can't be rich because your parents are poor. You could have been hurt by someone so you believe you can't be loved. I cannot stress enough the importance of having a positive self-belief system.

You can, you will and you deserve to be.

7. Are you afraid of success?

You thought fear of failure was bad. Can you imagine the fact that some people are more afraid of being successful then failing? If they never get to be successful they can blame their failures but when they achieve success they only see one way to go and that is down.

Instead of going after their goals fully they essentially self-sabotage themselves by creating situations where they get fired, make people mad at them or anything that would give them an excuse as to why success wasn't possible. Then they are like "Whew, I almost became more than I already am, dodged that bullet."

Look at success as something you achieve and then do again, over and over. There is no going backwards just in a different direction.

I understand change is scary but I find it even scarier to think that all I am right now is all I ever will be. You deserve to live the life of your dreams so go out there and crush those personal development goals.


Personal development provides us with the knowledge we need to succeed in life by increasing our self-awareness to the point where we consciously choose all of our actions and create all of our results. Darrin is an expert Goal Coach and loves helping others discover their definition of success.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Darrin_Wiggins

Three Simple Steps For Starting Your Personal Development Plan

Are you looking for ways to start your own personal development plan? Wondering how you should do it? Well today, I will be sharing with you how I did mine. Feel free to borrow my ideas and use them for your own.

Think Of Your Goals

The first step you should take while you are planning your own personal development plan is to think of your goals. What do you want to achieve out of this whole ordeal? Actually, you should think of it from a broader perspective. What do you want to achieve in life, and what do you think you need to do to achieve those goals? What areas of your life do you want to develop and how do you intend to develop them? Take some time to ponder over these thoughts carefully. The decisions you make today can affect your outcome tomorrow.

Take Action

I mentioned earlier that you should think about how you want to achieve your goals. Once you have your goals planned out in your personal development plan, you need to take action steps. You see, your goals are like a map that ensures that you are moving towards the right direction. However, what good is a map unless you are going somewhere? Take baby steps in moving towards your goal. Once in a while, you may need to refer back to your goals to motivate you and keep you going in the right direction, but what's important is that you take action. Even with a map, people can get lost sometimes. That should not be a worry though, because at least you have the chance to turn around and move towards the right direction.

Learn From Your Mistakes

We are all human and bound to make mistakes in life. What do you do when you fall in life? Do you stay down or do you get up? I am sure you get up. Use each mistake as a lesson that you can learn from in life. Try not to make the same mistake again. Examine where you have gone wrong and think of how you can avoid making that mistake in future. However, do not dwell on your failures. A motivational speaker once said that failure is nothing more than an event and not a person. Do not be afraid to make mistakes in life.

I hope you have a better understanding of how to create a personal development plan. Do remember these points that I have mentioned today.


For more information on how to create a personal development plan, visit SelfEnrichment.com. You will learn more about developing a personal development plan, setting your goals, learning from mistakes, and much more!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_J_Ho