Why It Really Is About The Journey, Not The Destination

When I started talking, I simultaneously started singing. It was from that point on that I knew where my life path would lead: I wanted to be a rock star.

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When I could understand Disney movies, I would play pretend and act like a Disney princess everywhere I went. This gave way to my goal of becoming a Hollywood actress. Destiny.

When I learned how to write, I started drafting stories and from then on, I knew that I would become the highest-selling female author of all time. Obviously.

I always had big dreams as a little girl, and although I abandoned them for a few years, they came back full circle in my early 20s. College seemed like the perfect time to make those dreams come true. I started with acting.

The struggle was most definitely real. Chasing your dreams is not all sunshine and unicorns and it is absolutely not the life of a Disney princess. I always imagined that if I wanted something badly enough for long enough, it was bound to happen.

But, at age 26, I am not where I imagined I’d be with my acting, music or writing careers. It has taken a lot for me to not completely throw in the towel.

One day, after feeling really low and questioning my life choices, I had a revelation. I thought that perhaps it’s possible for your dreams to serve you. Not only would this be a way to live out your passions in life, but also, the ride itself could serve as a way to shape the person you are continually becoming.

I first started thinking about every person I have loved and lost along the journey that has become my life. My dreams have essentially allowed me to weed out all of the negative, uncompassionate people whom I once called dear friends.

I am finally at a point where my closest friends are just as motivated as I am. They keep me inspired and ready for whatever comes next.

This was the first part of the revelation. We are often told to surround ourselves with people who exhibit positivity and motivation; those who are ambitious, like us.

But realistically, this is hard to do. Toxic people will continually come in and out of our lives, but by staying focused dedicated to the larger goal, it is easy to ensure their stay won’t be long.

The next part of my epiphany was realizing how many times I have had to pick myself back up. Life, in general, leads us to many “nos” and shut doors.

It leads us to trip, fall and hope to God we can pick ourselves back up, once again. And, we always do. But, every “no” is only one step closer to another “yes.” Every time we get back up, our hearts grow a little stronger.

The last part of my realization of dreams is that they provide us with experiences we never could have imagined, had we given up sooner.

Think about where you were a year ago. No matter what you say, you were absolutely NOT in the same position as you are today. You learned lessons and you met people.

Your experiences that have helped shaped who you are. And, those experiences came from not giving up on a dream.

No matter what your current job is right now, keep in mind that it’s just a stepping-stone to a larger goal. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the everyday that we forget what we were even trying to accomplish in the first place.

But, constantly reminding yourself of how far you’ve come and how strong of a person you are for getting to this point helps.

Trust me, I’ve been in the rut. I’ve called it quits several times before getting back in the game. But, when you realize that the dream is about the people you meet, the things you learn and the character you build, there is a sense of freedom and power that accompanies it.

So, take in every second of it. Your life is happening right now. When you look back another year from now, you will be even further, even stronger and even braver than before.

Whether we like it or not, we will never stop dreaming. So, we might as well enjoy the ride.

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It Has Nothing To Do With Money: What Actually Makes People Rich

It’s funny how things sometimes turn out. People chase money their entire lives, dreaming and wishing to one day be rich, only to wake up one morning and realize that they’re as poor as ever.

They either have no money and are miserable or have a bunch of money and are miserable nonetheless — like I said, they find themselves poorer than poor.

Unfortunately, you can’t really blame them for being in such a situation. Well… you certainly can, but they’re already down. Best not kick them too much.

Every person in the world is born with the same incredible gift: the gift of making decisions for yourself. There isn’t a person in this world who is not capable of making a decision on his or her own.

True, when growing up, we rely on our parents for the decision-making, and that often leads us to continue relying on them for a lengthy time, making it difficult for us to lead our own lives ourselves once we’re adults.

But at the very same time, choosing not to make a decision is a decision in itself. So you’re really just making the wrong decisions over and over again. And deluding yourself while you’re at it.

If you really wanted to make and follow through with a decision, you could. But you don’t, so you clearly don’t want to. And that’s fine. It’s your life; ruin it as you please.

But realize that by choosing not to make decisions yourself, you’re leaving everything to chance — your life is not something you should gamble with.

What you can do, however, is gamble with your money. Money is both wonderful and imaginary. Sure, we have dollar bills and coins, but thanks to the digital age, it’s easy to see money for what it really is.

Soon, money will be nothing more than a couple of pixels on your smartphone, representing the idea of how wealthy or poor you are.

All those living in first world countries measure wealth one way and one way only: the size of their wallets. We let an imaginary concept rule over our entire lives. We believe that having money makes us successful, accomplished and intelligent.

We believe that not having it makes us useless, stupid and lazy. The reality is that both the rich and the poor are mostly composed of idiots. Even idiots can make buttloads of money.

But that doesn’t make them rich. If you’re stupid, then you are poor and will forever be poor. I don’t mean stupid as “It takes me much longer to learn something than the average person” kind of stupid.

I mean stupid as “I don’t understand what matters in life and refuse to explore my reality because I’m certain that eventually I’ll stumble upon happiness” kind of stupid. This kind of stupid is smart enough to learn, but just chooses to only spend their mental energy on trivial things. Like money.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Money is great. It’s fun. Making it gives us a sense of accomplishment. To be honest, I f*cking love money. But I don’t think it’s what’s important in life — or at least, not most important.

We need money to live comfortably. We need money to help us fulfill some of our hopes and dreams — whether or not those hopes and dreams are honorable is another question. We need money to secure our children’s future.

We need money in order to attain the things in life that will make us happy. Thankfully, a lot less money is needed for this to be achieved than most people think.

As long as you can afford to be healthy, to be comfortable, to be safe, to be financially stable and to not have to worry about money, then you have plenty of it. This is the “richest” any of us needs to be. Everything else is superfluous.

Unless, of course, you need that money to do something that can potentially benefit a much larger group of people and not just yourself. Only then is having millions and billions of dollars justifiable.

Sure, many of us want those sports cars, expensive clothing, yachts, toys, jewelry — and that’s fine as long as it’s in moderation, but if you have more money than you need, then you should be using the majority of it to help those who don’t have enough to be healthy, to be comfortable, to be safe.

If you don’t need it, then spend it on someone who does. Why hoard it? Why sit on it and do nothing with it until the day you die. We’re not in Ancient Egypt — you can’t take it with you! Oh… you want to be rich. Idiots. Having money doesn’t make you rich.

Imaginary things cannot make you rich. What makes you rich are the things you have that money can’t buy. Those things and those people are the most valuable things in the world because no matter how much money you have, you’ll never have enough to purchase them.

The knowledge you have. The strength — both physical and mental. The memories, friends, family, the laughs, the tears, the scarring from the horribly glorious pain that made you the individual you are today — these things are the things that have value in life.

Only life and what life is capable of accomplishing matters. Everything else is excess. It’s pointless and wasteful. You can have all the money in the world and still be the poorest bastard to walk the face of the earth. I’m pretty sure that would also make you the dumbest.

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Two Key Actions That Will Change Your Life & Business

As a former athlete I often find myself situations that I come across in business and life in general back to my glory days.

It seems that many lessons my coaches were engraving into our minds are ever present today in my business.

One lesson that comes more often than others is this: you either let external stimuli directly affect you, or you take the fight to the opponent. This might seem a little harsh for everyday business interactions, but let me explain.

In your life and in your business there are only two things that can change the course you are on right now for the better, or for the worse. The two items I am talking about are as follows:

1. Something good comes into your life.

I think about this more in the passive sense, however it definitely can be somewhat controlled by your actions. I would describe these situations as unforeseen or even “lucky.” Let me define luck in the terms I am referring to – luck is where opportunity meets preparation.

A few real world examples would be that new client that called you out of the blue and now is your number one priority, that mentor you met while at a networking event, that $5 bill you found in your jeans while you were doing your laundry. These situations seem to just happen to you, but what is really happening is the culmination of your daily success rituals coming to fruition.

Action Steps:

1. Define your daily success rituals that will attract these “lucky” breaks to happen more often
2. Be PROactive in your life and put yourself in situations that can help you on your path to greatness

“I’m a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” – Thomas Jefferson 

2. Something new comes from within you!

I really like to follow entrepreneurs who are playing the game at a higher level than I am and work every day to mimic the plans they have used to create success for themselves. Creating high level connections, new opportunities, more business really gets my blood flowing and is why I prefer this method.

We can absolutely control the information/thoughts that we let come into our brains each and every day. The end result is taking the actions that the greats have already laid out for us to reach the success we are working toward.

Action Steps:

1. Be protective of the information you consume every day. Control your thoughts and you will control your actions.
2. Learn from people playing the game at a higher level than you are, READ!
3. Surround yourself with positive, like minded individuals.
4. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself these questions – who can I reach out to that will help me accomplish my goals/dreams/mission? What thoughts or positive affirmations do I need to rehearse every day to elevate my attitude?

 

Stop being REactive and start being PROactive.

Be great, nothing else pays!

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